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24 February 2009 @ 04:25 pm
Fanfic: The Dick Van Dyke Show ~ "Pilot of the Airwaves"  
Fandom: The Dick Van Dyke Show
Title: "Pilot of the Airwaves"
Author: Dash O'Pepper*
(*Originally posted at the Hogan's Heroes Group at Yahoo!Groups probably in 1998 or 1999 (and before the group's move to SmartGroups and then back to Yahoo!Groups). I don't remember what handle I posted it under, but KathyM (the group's moderator/owner) did originally place it in the group's file; I have no idea if it's still there or not.)
Genre: Gen / Humour
Rating: All
Spoilers: None
Synopsis: Alan Brady has a boffo idea for a television series.
Warning: This is a crossover. I've blacked out the spoiler information above, as the other series is the punchline.
Length: 500 words*
(*Originally submitted for a 500-word challenge to crossover two unlikely series.)
Status: Complete
Disclaimers: The Dick Van Dyke Show is a registered trademark of Calvada Productions and Viacom/Paramount. Hogan’s Heroes is a registered trademark of Bing Crosby Productions and Viacom/Paramount. This work of fan fiction is not meant in any way to infringe on copyrights already held by these companies and/or their subsidiaries.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

From verifying his identity to confirming that there was actually a meeting scheduled with Alan Brady to having a personal escort take him to the man's office, they seemed to be taking no chances.

Hell, if the Pentagon had taken as many precautions as the RCA Building, we wouldn't be worrying about Khrushchev right now.

After politely introducing him to Brady's secretary, the NBC Page discreetly excused himself, with the cheerful reminder to call when he was ready to leave.

Perhaps he was over-reacting. Years dealing with that type of mentality during the war still found him more suspicious of things than he should have been, but he had the distinct feeling that it was a veiled threat: Halt or we'll shoot.

"Can I get you any coffee, Mr. -- " began the secretary.

"It's Rob," he smiled, noting that she was giving him the once over. A little greyer at the temples . . . a few pounds heavier . . . and happily married . . . it was nice to know that younger women still found him attractive. "Black. Two sugars."

"They shouldn't be too much longer." She handed him the cup.

He felt at a distinct disadvantage in this situation. He'd responded to the letter more out of curiosity than having any real interest in the project. With the situation in Indo-China escalating, not to mention the social unrest at home, television and movie studios were focusing more and more on home-grown heroes. Though, there wasn't anything in his life now -- or then -- that he felt should merit such interest. His ties in the intelligence community had been severed long ago; and to the best of his knowledge, his missions were still classified under the FYEO heading. Yet, a part of him wanted to know exactly how much these TV people knew.

"Who's in there?" he asked, taking a sip from his cup, and nodding toward the closed door. "Brady's letter was rather oblique."

Before she had a chance to reply, the door opened, and the man known alternately as genius and cobra stepped forth.

"Bob! Great to see you."

Alan Brady pumped his hand enthusiastically.

"I can call you Bob?" he continued.

The words tumbled out staccato style, purposely giving him no chance to form a reply. In those few seconds, he'd realized that Brady was a master con man. Takes one to know one, he thought. Robert, you missed your calling; instead of engineering, you should have gone into television.

"I want you to meet our team. I've already got writers and producers lined up for this one. We've got a hit on our hands. I know it."

Ushering him into the office, Brady began quick introductions.

"Bob, I want you to meet our writers Rob Petrie, Sally Rogers and Buddy Sorrell. And the men who'll be backing this program: Sheldon Leonard, Danny Thomas, Byron Buckles and Bing Crosby."

They were obviously used to Brady's personality, as they all nodded their quick and polite hellos to him.

"Have a seat, and tell us all about Stalag 13."

~ Fin ~

© 2009 Dash O'Pepper
TeaRosesrosehiptea on February 24th, 2009 10:22 pm (UTC)
Nice! I really love the period details.
Dash O'Pepperpfeffermuse on February 24th, 2009 10:41 pm (UTC)
Thanks for your kind words.
Jen Ckitkat307 on March 25th, 2009 09:34 pm (UTC)
I don't know why I read this, as I've never read any DVD fic before, but I'm so glad I did! I loved the surprise ending. Just so happens my favourite fan fics are HH & RP (Rat Patrol-my favourite character being the Captain) & those two are pretty much all I read. But, so glad I discovered your short fic. Thanks for writing this one. Jen
Dash O'Pepperpfeffermuse on March 25th, 2009 09:54 pm (UTC)

Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm a big Rat Patrol and Hogan's Heroes fan myself. (I'm a Hogan gal, but I love the rest of the guys equally.)

(Anonymous) on October 24th, 2012 07:57 pm (UTC)
Never would have linked these two shows...
...but it works!
I love the immersion in the PERIOD-good research...or memory?
Love both shows and can see the DVD crew working on Hogan's Heroes.
I wish this author would finish her SUPERB HH episode that is actually very serious and deeply moving.
New Gaia
Dash O'Pepperpfeffermuse on May 5th, 2013 01:32 pm (UTC)
Re: Never would have linked these two shows...
I love the immersion in the PERIOD-good research...or memory?

I ain't that old. [g]

The primary reason why I was able to get the historical details down was that in college I wrote a joke fic set in the DVD universe of June 1963; between newspapers, and viewing newscasts, the Johnny Carson show, and commercials at the Museum of Broadcasting I can pretty much tell you most world events from that period.

Plus, there was someone in our dorm who was in her 30s, and I did a lot of fact checking with what she recalled from that time period.